Stress

Psych today psych was a self help seminar on how you can manage your own stress, because experts know that chronic stress is bad for your long term health, weakens your immune system, etc. So, I decided to try and relieve a bit of that stress by venting to you, my handful of loyal readers.

One of the stress management techniques was to put your stressors in perspective. Because in the grand scheme of things, chances are our stresses aren’t that bad. So, the instructor had us write down everything that was stressing me out at the moment. Here is what I wrote down.

1) Homework/grades. This is my most constant source of stress. I have a good 12-14 hours of homework per week of one kind or another. And it never stops, its always there, “like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad.” It has been a long time since ive had this much weekly work, I kind of miss the good ol’ days.

2) Physical chemistry midterm. Yes it’s a spin-off of the first, but this one is more specific. I have a history of doing absolutely terribly on these; On the order of 40% to 50%. Today I actually sat down and realized how much I didn’t know, and so far it’s looking bad.

3) Parking ticket. I got a ticket for not moving my car in time for basketball parking to begin. Bye bye $35; that’s about how much I spend on food in 5-6 days.

4) Nationals. I’m not sure why I could only come up with this as my number four stressor, because it is definitely prevalent in my mind. I am going to compete in the spring national taekwondo tournament in early may in Las Vegas. I will be performing a traditional form along with a weapons form I get to come up with myself. In short, things are not going well. My traditional form is coming along, but my ssahng jeol bahng (Korean for nunchucks) has barely left the ground. I’ve got all these great ideas rattling around in my head, but I cant seem to find the time or the space to really give it some thought outside of class, which this desperately needs. In addition, my instructor (a 2nd degree black belt who is younger than me) seems content to simply criticize my performance and not really help things progress. The criticism helps, but at some point you want to hear you are doing something right.

5) Firefighting. My friend Frazz is supposed to be helping me get a firefighting job, and he is….its just happening very slowly. Firefighting is the ideal job for a college guy: short, interesting, dangerous, and lucrative. I’ve been trying for the last 2 years to get that job, and last year I would have had it if the funding hadn’t been cut (election year), but it hasn’t happened yet. This year he tells me ive got a 90% chance of getting it if he puts a good word in for me. Im still waiting for him to do that. I know he’s a dependable guy, and will get around to it, but its one of those things I wish was off my shoulders.

6) A girl. There is always a girl…

After having wrote down all of the stressful things in our lives, we then watched the first 5 minutes of the movie Blood Diamond, and watched though the part where the man’s village gets raided and he gets captured as he watches is wife and children flee for their lives. At the end of the clip, the professor basically said: “Now, aren’t you thankful that you don’t have his problems?” I know this was meant to put my stress into perspective, but the only thing it succeeded in doing was piss me off.

Yes, I am grateful that I don’t have to fight for my life every day; and yes, when you compare the scale of my problems to his, mine look pretty petty. That doesn’t change the fact that they are still my problems, and they matter to me. They are a part of my life, just as fighting for his life is part of his life. Forgive me, but I don’t appreciate being told my problems do not matter. What am I? Chopped liver?

I personally think the “Aren’t you glad you’re not that guy?” argument is in very poor taste. I think it says a lot about the person who says that to you. This is a very degrading statement to “that guy,” on top of that it implies that you don’t know how good you personally have it, and should be more thankful. I will agree that some people (me included) need to count their blessings more often, but not at the expense of degrading another person. That statement also establishes the speaker as a better person than you, so not only is he degrading someone you and he may or may not know, but he is degrading you as well.

If this makes me a cynical, insensitive bastard I don’t care. I don’t think it is wrong to want validation for your life’s struggles. Sometimes the best way to cope with stress is telling that person “yes, this is a stressful time, but you’ll get through it because you always do. Stay positive; everything will be alright in the end, so if it’s not alright, it’s not the end."

Don’t let life get you down. If there is one thing I have learned in the last 6 months it’s that stressors come and it go, and once it’s gone it doesn’t come back. That which happens in the past stays there. I like to think times like these are a challenge, and when I look back on this time I want to look myself in the mirror and say that I did my best. If things worked out, great; if not, oh well. There is always tomorrow.

And speaking of tomorrow, I bid you goodnight.


-DK